Some News

Greetings readers,

My posting will be a bit less frequent than the usual...stop that!...Don't cheer!  Just kidding.  I have always enjoyed writing, and keeping up a blog has given me a lot of writing practice, so much so that I want to take it to another level.  I have been following a half dozen writer's blogs the past couple months and am now taking an eight week course to improve my writing, spruce up my blog, find a wider fan base, and expand my reach in the field of internet writing.  I AM NOT DOING THIS FOR MONEY!  If I make a little to cover my costs to set-up a real blog and all the frills that go with it, I'll be happy, but I am feeling a calling (apologies to my atheist friends, it was not meant in a strictly spiritual way).  Hopefully, my blog will become more focused in a few months when I reveal a new improved version, but it will include a lot of the stuff I have been doing nonfiction and fiction wise.  It will focus on what many of you said you liked about my blog and that's the history component.

(If your bored at this point feel free to stop reading and go have a juice box.)

I could use your help though.  I have written a couple statements regarding my writing voice and what my target audience (tribe) is.  If you good readers have some free time, I would be eternally grateful if you read them and offered any constructive criticism.  Fell free to add a comment here, message me on Facebook, or email me directly at luckyforward559@gmail.com .

My Voice

My comfortable voice is one that’s to the point but offers the right amount of detail and explanation with some humor to it.  I try to select the right words, avoiding the absolutes and selecting words that are more accurate or truthful (my wife hates this).  Sometimes I will adopt a more professional, serious voice, especially when dealing with subjects of serious consequence.  This voice is more on the offensive and less humorous.  It may include higher level academic vocabulary.  In terms of worldview, I have to stick to my core values: individualism, freedom, respect for tradition and history,  Judeo-Christian values, Western Civilization, and honest, respectful, thoughtful debate (I encourage this on topics I blog about).

Another way of putting it:

My Voice—I value honest, open, nonjudgmental debate about controversial topics, so my voice should reflect that.  Although I am admittedly conservative, I do not want to be another pundit type, so my voice should be based on the facts ) kind of a Bill O’Reilly approach).  I value humor, so a little humor is part of my voice, and some of my writing should focus that way (the few readers of my blog that I have like the humor).  My voice will value the concept that words have meaning and ideas are important.  I want my voice to be readable (appealing to the average American) but I do not want to shy away from the right words even if they are unique.

My Tribe

My Tribe (audience)—A cross-section of society that likes history and believes something can be learned from history.  This may include: history buffs, people going through experiences in which history might offer some answers, students wanting to know more about history (AP kids), people politically active or into current events and want a historical perspective.  This tribe may also include businesses and organizations that value history as a tool to improve what they do.  The tribe would include people wanting a combination of writing genres—informational pieces, satire, history education, historical fiction, and other kinds of fiction reflecting historical themes.

Tentatively I am calling the new improved blog "Life Through the Lens of History"

Again, any feed back or comments would be greatly appreciated.  Until I unveil the new blog I will keep posting here...Shhhh!  Sounds of disappointment/frustration are not allowed.

My Struggles With Confidence

I have lost confidence in myself.  For the last five years my confidence level has consistently dropped.  I was not always like this.  Most of my life I exuded confidence and was confident.  School came easy, I had a great childhood, built a good career as a teacher, was married with three great kids, but there was something going on.  I was slowly losing control of the situation.

The economy went bad, but being a tenured teacher I was fairly safe; however, all of the extra work I relied on—teaching night school, working for ETS as a test question writer, and teaching some online classes—simply faded away as budget cuts were made.  Soon I could not make the mortgage payments on my house.  The fact that I never said “no” to those I love when they wanted to spend money left a huge credit card debt that was out of control.  The tension caused family and marital strife.  I don’t like confrontation in the family so I just shut up and numbed out.

By numb out I mean I started drinking.  At first just weekends but soon every night.  I was drinking a lot.  It was the only thing to numb the pain, the feelings of failure as we moved to a rental as the house went deeper and deeper underwater.  I love my kids more than my life but it wasn’t enough to stop me.  That comfortable numbness got me through.  I knew the only way I was going to stop was to experience a life changing event.

That event happened in the middle of February of 2012.  I got ill and was diagnosed with severe liver damage.  I stopped drinking but four days later was hospitalized and nearly died in the ER.  Doctors were gently preparing my wife and family for my eventual death.  My life was turned upside down.  I don’t think anyone believed I had stopped drinking and the ER visit was the result of a binge.  Well, it wasn’t. 

I found out after seeing a specialist that I have a genetic flaw that was triggered by the years of drinking.  In fact, I had only moderate liver damage but was suffering from “alcoholics” or an inflamed liver.  The easiest part of the experience was stopping the drinking.  I had and still have no desire to drink.  That night in the ER was a spiritual event for me.  I truly believe God looked down at me and said, “Rob you’re not done yet.  I still got some stuff for you to do.”  Recuperating from the experience physically has been a long and slow process.  My body still aches in the morning, my endurance and strength are limited, and I have to be watchful of my blood pressure (although it’s better since I stopped drinking) and sugar. 

Emotionally, it has been hard too.  I did get to go back to work, but somehow things seem different.  I still feel like I let people down.  On the other hand, I am starting to live and do things I want to do.  Blogging and taking this course are two examples.  I do not take life for granted and I ignore the silly stuff and try to stay focused on happiness.  Other than writing a poem called “Broken” I have never discussed my struggles like I have in this piece.

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” - Anonymous

Enemies in War, Friends Forever

Enemies in War, Friends Forever

Much has been written on this 150^th anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg, the battle that turned the tide of the Civil War.  However, the most poignant story may be that of Union Major-General Winfield Hancock and Confederate Brigadier-General Lewis Armistead. 

In many ways the men were opposites.  Hancock was born into a middle class Pennsylvania family, was well educated, and distinguished himself as an army officer.  Armistead grew up in a well off influential family from North Carolina, did not finish West Point (for disciplinary and academic reasons), and experienced a number of misfortunes in life.  The two men met in 1844 and served together during the Mexican War.  (Armistead’s father used his Washington influence to get his son a commission in the Army.)  Although having very different backgrounds, the two had similar, fun loving personalities and developed a strong friendship over the next fifteen years.

When North Carolina voted to secede from the union, Armistead made the difficult decision to stay loyal to his state and resigned his commission.  Hancock, Armistead and a number of other future Civil War generals were stationed in California in 1861.  A subdued gathering of the departing southern officers was held at Hancock’s home.  It is rumored that on departing Armistead said, “If I ever raise arms against my friend Hancock may God strike me down.”

The two men fought many campaigns leading up to Gettysburg but never against each other.  That changed in July 3^rd, 1863.  Hancock was in command of the 2^nd Corps of the Army of the Potomac protecting the middle of the Union’s line at Cemetery Ridge.  Armistead was commanding a brigade named after him in Gen. Pickett’s division of Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia.  July 3^rd was the final day of the battle and the date of Pickett’s fatal charge.  Armistead led the way, placing his hat on the tip of his sword and waving it around so his men could see that their leader was there, motivating them to continue moving up the mile long slope.  With Union artillery from the ridge and the hills to his right battering the brigade, Armistead did not stop but lead his men across a small stream and over two rail fences.

Although Confederate troops were falling by the hundreds, Armistead and about a thousand rebels made it to the ridge, the “High Water Mark of the Confederacy.”  They were outnumbered and shot down.  Armistead lay wounded on the battlefield.  A Union Captain asked if there was anything he could get Armistead, but all the fallen general asked was to see Hancock.  The captain informed him that Hancock had also fallen.  Armistead was distraught and asked that his possessions be taken to his friend.  Armistead died two days later from complications.  Hancock survived and went on to finish out a distinguished military career.

The American Civil War tore the fabric of the nation apart, pitting abolitionist versus slaveholder, states’ rights advocate versus federal power proponent, white versus black, brother versus brother and friend versus friend.  Lewis Armistead and Winfield Hancock did their duty and followed their conscience but they also recognized that real friendships can overcome any adversity.